Is my wife cheating???

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I'm sorry, that you had to be right about it. But its not your fault. So don't take it out on yourself. Also I don't think you should watch anymore of those videos. It will just make it worse for you.
 
I am sorry to hear that also. My heart goes out to you.

When you had mentioned that you friend had cancelled the day before I thought (no please not him) if it was true of what you thought.

May god watch over you through your tough times and show you the way.

You know we are all here for you if you need someone to talk to.
 
This probably the last time I'm going to post on here for awhile. There are going to be alot of changes in my life in the upcoming weeks and months. I decided to watch the tape before I went to meet my friend(yeah right), I just couldn't take it. The tape started with his truck pulling up in front of my house. After a few minutes, someone got out of the car, but it wasn't him, it was his wife. I actually felt relieved it was her. My wife and her talked all the time and actually took little mini vacations together. I just didn't understand why my wife or my friend didn't mention her coming over that weekend. The tape showed his wife walk into our house(I didn't know she had a key) and just throw her things down like she lived there. She then proceeds to go into our kitchen and pour herself some of our wine. The other camera shows my wife in our bedroom sitting on our bed. At some point it looks like my wife yells something and Kate(my friend's wife) yells something back and proceeded to walk into our room. Someone at the door, I don't know if I will post again, but thanks everyone.
 
Good luck to you Ger. Hope everything that has been going on in your life has a positive outcome. I am not going to speculate what happened over that weekend (and the time leading up to then), as I will keep that to myself.

Remember that if you need someone to talk to we are all here for you. And remember you are not the only one that this has happened to. Most of us has gone through a lot during our years, some thinking that they can't go on. But you can! You have children that love and need you and always will.

God bless and take care.
 
No one is here to judge you in any way ~ never feel strange to come here! We want you to feel comfortable to come here and sweep if nothing else! I can erase this thread if you want me to ~ just let me know.

Good luck to you!
 
Hi guys, I'm going to post tomorrow about what else happened on the tape and what has happened since. I just needed a few days to get my mind straight about how my life is going to change. Thanks
 
I'll try to make this quick. I'm living now with my aunt, who refuses to allow me to pay her rent(bless her heart). I'll be filing for divorce within the next couple of weeks. Alot has happened since I last posted. Let me back up to where the tape left off. So my best friends wife walks into my home like she owns it. She proceeds to pour herself some wine and walk into my bedroom. She walks over to my wife and gives her a kiss, not the "Hey, how you been?" kind of kiss, but a "I've missed you so much!" passionate kiss. I just about died when I saw this. My friends wife then proceeds to our bathroom and my wife follows her in. Fast forward about an hour and a half and they both walk out of the bathroom naked and proceed to the bed. I'll spare you the details, but needless to say I have not slept in that bed since. I'll be using the tape as evidence in what is sure to be a ferocious custody battle. Anyway, you remember I told you my best friend begged me on the phone not to watch the tape until he spoke to me. Well it turns out he knew about our wives sleeping together for months. Apparently, months ago, his wife told him she was no longer satisfied and wanted a divorce. He cried and begged her not to(wimp). She told him she would stay, but that she wanted to sleep with other people. He amazingly agreed to this. Awhile back he found some digital photos of my wife and his wife on one of their weekend trips. Needless to say, the pictures were sexual in nature. He was shocked and confronted her. She told him she loved my wife and would not stop seeing her. He threatened to tell me and that's when she pulled out the divorce card again and he caved. She even tried to include him by having him hide in their closet while she and my wife had sex in their bedroom. He told me he was sick over the whole thing and could hardly look me in the eye whenever he was around me. He also said that's why he hardly ever talked to my wife, because she was sleeping with his wife and he hated her for it. Anyway I confronted my wife with all of this info and she plainly admitted to it, no crying, no denying, just very matter of fact. She said it was no big deal because it was another woman and she still loved me as her husband. I've never had to control myself more than at that moment. I literally could be in prison right now, but I just took my kids and we took a ride to a movie so I could calm down. So, things are pretty hectic right now, I'll let you know more info soon. Thanks
 
Wow!! All I can say is you are a bigger person, then any one I know. You held your cool, for your kids. And thats awesome. Your wife sounds like a witch. The fact that she wasn't even upset at what she had been doing, is messed up. I hope that everything goes your way, because you sounds like the better parent for your kids. Just wondering if you knew your wife was also interested in women? I know some people don't see that as cheating. I do though.

There is a lot of crap that goes on behind closed doors. When I was 16/17 I had a tutor, and her and her husband did cocaine, smoked weed, and were swingers. My parents didn't find out until, they suduced me, and I had accidently told someone about it. My parents were shocked, never knew that kind of stuff was going on. It was a he/she said thing though, so have my family still doesn't believe it happened.

Well another thing, about 3 weeks ago, I heard my mom and grandma talking about swingers. Well my mom was telling her about how they used to have friends, that they played tennis with, etc, and the kids used to play with thier kids. Well the whole time I was trying to figure out who she was talking about, because I knew what she was suggesting. Well to make a long story short. I found out that my best friends parents, wanted to "mess around" with my parents. EWWWWWW luckily my parents never told me that until now. I just thought we were two normal familys that hung out, and had fun. But they had a motive to "suduce" my parents. Yuck.

But anyways, my point is, theres a lot of messed up stuff that goes around behind closed doors.
 
Gerard, do what you want but I have to ask...why head straight into divorce? Would you have felt differently if she had been sleeping with your best friend? I'm just curious as to why you want to head straight to divorce court instead of talking to her and so forth.
 
completelyme said:
Just because his wife is sleeping with a woman doesn't make him the better parent. The fact that his wife still loves him despite this speaks volumes.
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If his wife loved him at all she wouldn't have hurt him this way. I certainly don't want that type of so called love. Your husband should be your best friend and you should be able to discuss anything with them. It's infidelity, it's dishonest and it's cheating anyway you look at it.

Gerard,
You certainly have alot of self controll. You're children are lucky to have you as their father.
Please don't be too hard on your friend. He sounds like he really needs a good friend with a manipulative wife like his. He is sure to have alot of heartache as long as he stays with her.
Best of luck to you!
 
Ger, I'm sorry ... Wow, I truly am .. You have a right to feel the emotions you are feeling .. You have been betrayed.. And male or female doesn't justify anything in my opinion.... My only advice ifyou want it..... Do what is right for you, not what others will suggest, It's your life and you are the one who will live it ...... I'm sorry
 
And don't forget the STD testing, Ger!

http://www.metrokc.gov/health/glbT/lbstd.htm
Can women give other women STDs? Yes.

There is a misconception among health care providers and women themselves that lesbian and bisexual women have little or no risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STD). This myth is fueled by the lack of reliable studies of STD transmission in these communities.

In fact, the risk of STD transmission between women varies significantly depending on the STD. Herpes, HPV (genital wart virus), and bacterial vaginosis are transmitted fairly easily between women during sex. HIV, hepatitis B, gonorrhea, and chlamydia are much less likely to be transmitted--the risk is low but it is still possible.
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I really do hope you can get through this situation without bringing the children into it as best you can. Divorce can be very hard on them. I feel really bad for you that you had to find out about this the way you did. I don't think it matters who did this but that it did happen and lives are affected. I honestly think you will do what's best for your children and for yourself. Time does heal all wounds. It's sad that your wife doesn't seem to be upset because she doesn't think she was in the wrong but really she is.

God bless and I will be praying for all of you :love:
 
I was going to stay outta this thread but changed my mind.. :laughing:

First to gerard, Im sorry you are going through this. Its awful when a spouse cheats. I hope you can find a way to atleast stay friendly with your wife for the kids..

As for the other topics that popped up in here... more than half of all marriages end in divorce. for various reason's. Having a different lifestyle doesn't necessary mean you will get divorced, especially considering that a lot of divorces are because of heterosexual affairs. If two people want to be swingers, they both agree to it, so what. That doesn't make them bad, doesn't make them bad parents either. cheating is hurtful, whether its with the same sex or not.. one isn't worse than the other in my opinion.

Not everyone thinks the same way about things, thats understandable, how boring it would be if we did.
 
I've met 3 different swingers. One was a single mom, she was desperate, and threw herself on many married men.
2nd My friend's parents, which I thought was messed up, because they only pretended to be friends, to get into my parents pants. Because once my mom made it clear they didn't do that, the family outtings stopped. And they didn't do much together anymore. Plus the fact at that time I was like 8 or 10 or something, and my parents were 40. Any child would think that is gross. I'm 24 now and still think its gross. You don't want to think that your parents are having sex.
3rd, my tutor and her husband. Through a year, they knew I was really messed up, I was sucidal, and yes bisexual (completely me, I was bisexual, that issue wasn't a big deal to me). Anyways my tutor and her husband knew this. And they fed off of it. I thought they cared about me, and in reality it was just a game for them. Something to get off on. When it was all over, they had thier life together, and I was just a game they threw away. I won't even get into the gory details. But I felt so used, and confused, and I was only 17. And when the "swinging thing happened" It was me (17) and two (26-30 yearold couples). They knew exactly what they were doing. And me being as screwed up in the head, didn't know what I was getting myself into. I just wanted acceptence, and attention. Well the tutors husband ended up totally into me, and his wife feeling very jealous. She ended up yelling at us, and crying, and it scared me. I didn't want to go through with it, but I was already so deep into it. She ended up getting attention from the other couple. Well to make a long story short.
I was laying on the couch after, and I was so upset. I felt so used, and I could hear them in the other rooms sleeping, cuddling, whatever. And I was there all alone.
It's not worth it. Sex is sopposed to be something two people share, that is sopposed to be wonderful. Instead I have learned that it is selfish, one-sided, almost animal like. No feelings involved. No wonder I have such a screwed up sex life when it comes to my husband.
I'm sorry if I hurt anyones feelings, or made them mad. I am not trying to be judgemental, because I'm the last person that should be judgemental, I've gone through alot.
If people want to be swingers, then fine, thats thier deal. But they should be "in thier right minds". And all the parties involved, should know about it (husbands, wife, whatever).
 
(((((Hugs)))) Tiff. I'm very sorry you went through that.

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.
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Tiff I am really sorry you had such a hard time as a young girl. So many of us have had tough childhoods and even into adulthood. I have to say that nothing good ever comes out of lies and deceit. Nothing because it will come back to rear it's ugly head at one time or another and it doesn't matter what your sexual preference.

Cheating on a spouse will make it hard to trust that person again and if the trust is gone it will take a very positive influence in someones life to help them trust again. I do believe a person's personal choices can affect how they parent their children otherwise we wouldn't see it in divorce courts all the time about one partner being a bad parent.

You are growing up into a fine young woman tiff and I am glad you survived all the trials in your life. :love:
 
Tiff ~ hon ~ you know I love you and I am sorry that you went through what you did. Wanted to put that in.....


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Last warning before things get nasty again and I have to lock the thread ~ back on topic okay...
 
You had a right to respond! No worries...just trying to get back on topic...and I am the world's worst at taking a thread in the wrong direction ~ lol!
 
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