wth is wrong with my daughter?

3mnkids1

3mnkids1

New member
got home after a long day at the dentist. Taking three kids anywhere isnt fun but having to wait while each one got their teeth cleaned about drove me insane. anyway, get home and there is a message from one of my daughters teachers saying keely hasnt been turning in or completing assignments. And that several of her teachers are concerned. several? how many classes is she not turning work in? This is the eighth day of school. thats right. only the eighth day. :cry: I dont know what im going to do with her. I lit into her. im surprised my head didnt explode. There is no excuse for her not doing her work. none. she is bright but lazy. Im soooo mad at her. We went thru the same thing last year. she barely passed. By barely I mean 2 points. I have taken her ipod, canceled her itunes allowance and taken her ps2 and gameboy. I will talk to the teacher tomorrow and find out how bad it is. If it is really bad I told her she will come home to a room stripped of everything but her bed. tv , dvd player, posters, etc.... gone, gone, gone. I dont know what else to do. any advice. please...
 
Taking away things always works with my 17 year old. We home school and just last week she flunked 2 test her phone got taken away when she flunked the first test for a week and when she flunked the 2nd test she was grounded all weekend.

Needless to say she has done much better this week and hasn't flunked anything.

Hopefully your daughter will get on track with you taking things away.
 
:sunny: Cheer up! I went thru this with my son. Talking to the teachers is going in the right direction. Have each one write down the homework on a piece of paper everyday and also write down if there isn't any for your daughter to bring home to show to you. Initial the papers each day to send back so they know that you are doing your part. Also don't expect your daughter to do her homework first thing when getting home. Tell her she has an hour to relax and get a snack before she begins. A few months of doing this and she will be on track and you won't be in the dark.
Just don't stress! Good luck!
 
Thanks guys. I talked to her teacher today and its not good. In one class her grade is a 17 so I took her t.v. She gets home and I say lets sit down at the table and do this. If ya need help let me know and I will help. And she says" If you help I will get an F for sure". I didnt know what to say. :cry: That was uncalled for and very, very ugly. I cant believe she would say that to me. What is with the attitude. I called my husband and cried of course. she hurt my feelings. and she did it on purpose. so im not talking to her right now. im going to let my husband deal with her when he gets home.
 
OMG...i thought you were talking about my daughter...I have been going through the exact same thing...last year she barely passed on to middle school...I thought things would be better this year because I can keep track of all of her work on the computer...but alas she has already started not turning in her work...and granted things have been really crazy the last 2 weeks...we have spent hours at the hospital with my aunt while she was dying of cancer...she passed away Sept 5th and her funeral was this monday so I can understand my daughter not being focused...but she wants to be on the cheerleading squad so bad and I have already invested lots of money for this only for her not to be doing her work and will be kicked off the squad if she doesnt get her grades up...It is a constant fight and she lies to my face even though she knows all I have to do is get on the computer and check her assignments to see if she is telling me the truth...I have taken everything away from her and still nothing works...I am at my wits end...I just want to strangle her...whew that felt good to get off my chest :)
 
:headbang: Sounds to me like it may be time for some bribery! Instead of just giving the kids all those great wins, put them in a box and tell them at mid point in the grading period that if they have turned in all their homwork, then they can have a prize. Bigger prizes can be saved for A's and improved grades at the end of the marking period!
 
It is like pulling teeth to get Ashelyn to do her homework. She knows that she is suppose to do it right after she get home and gets a snack. She always wants to go outside and play when Jimmie gets here. I tell her that she can't go unless her homework is done, then Jimmie gets here and lets her go on out! Then he has the nerve to fuss at me when it is time for her to go to bed and she is still working on homework. She started off the year wanting me to finish her homework for her. Last night she came in and started and never asked me a question ~ I really thought that she had sat down and just scribbled for awhile, but she did do her homework ~ thank goodness.

I wish I had an answer for you, but I don't. I am really weak when up comes to not letting my kids go to school activities because it would I know that it would have killed me when I was young. Hope things calm down for you!!
 
I like the idea of keeping wins until they deserve them. Im really bad about just giving them. Her teachers are writing down after each class her homework in her agenda. That way we can make sure she brings it all home and does it. Its a shame she has to be treated like a second grader. :nono: If she starts doing the right thing I will give her something back. Im guessing she wants her tv. The new season of smallville starts in a couple of weeks and without her tv she wont get to see it. :laughing: after the homework situation gets straighted we will work on her attitude. :scratch: She finally apologized for her ugly comment and im talking to her again :laughing: she needs to learn she cant talk to people however she pleases. not nice. mothers and daughters :scratch: tough relationship.
 
I've had the same problem but my daughter is in College. She's 19. She is doing better now. The funny thing is I work with students that have trouble in class. If I can help please feel free to contact me. Sometimes the student gets confused with what the teacher is saying or doing and don't want to admit it in front of the class. Also I've seen alot of students not understand the terminology the teacher is using. I agree with what you are doing as far as taking things away until she does better. It really becomes hard for a student to play catch up all year long because they get lost early in the year. You could also talk to the school and see if they may have some tutoring program or see if a local high school student could do it. Our Honor Society kids can tutor for the credits they need. Good Luck!

Cindy B.
 
This may sound silly but has she had an eye exam recently? By an optho...also has she had a complete physical to rule out possible causes of lack of focus like thyroid disorders and anemia. I know other board members have thyroid issues and can tell you how hard it is to do anything Sometimes kids (even older ones) have serious physical issues and just don't express themselves well enough to get across to their parents how they feel-they just act run down and grumpy. Another common cause of lack of focus and apathy is sleep apena. Does she snore at all? Complain of headaches? Like Type II diabetes, hypothyroid is showing up in younger and younger kids these days....
 
wow guys. really great advice. she does get headaches. alot here recently. sometimes 3-4 a week. I know she isnt lying to get out of school or anything like that. I usually only know she has had one because I find a wash cloth in her room she gets wet and puts on her forehead. she has vision issues. she is legally blind in one eye. and hadnt thought about some of the other things like thyroid or anemia. she complains alot about little pains. in her legs, arms. I though it was just growing pains. she is tall for her age. 5' 5" at age 11. seems tall to me. Im only 5' 6". :laughing: Time to go back to the doc I quess. thanks again guys.
 
You know I went through the same thing with my youngest daughter. From the time she was 13 until she moved out at 18 it was a constant battle. It's like I was an embarrassment to her and I know for her it was more important to socialize with her friends than to do school work. So you have to keep an eye on who their hanging out with because their friends could be a bad influence. I actually finally let her quit school at 16 because she just was not going to do the work. She did get her GED and is married now but we had a bumpy road for awhile there. Including a night in jail. Her not me lol.

I went through a lot of tears and I prayed a lot that was all I could do at the time. So just try and keep an open door for her to talk to you and allways tell her how proud you are of her and how much you love her. I am happy to say at 24 and married my daughter is doing good. She has a good head on her shoulder and she has common sense.

Be strong and remember you are not alone.
 
Sounds like your daughter is looking for negative attention from you, and you're giving it to her. Homeschooling probably would be a step in the right direction. There is an internet full of professional information to help you out with understanding what is going on with your daughter. You should run a search for some of it. :)
 
I don't think I could homeschool. I don't have the patience or the knowledge required :laughing: her little snide comment about getting an f for sure wasn't to far from the truth. well, where her math is concerned. I wasn't going to try and help her with that. I can barely add. I can help her with the rest of her work though. She has been doing a little better. she is turning in her homework and she has had only two detentions. :cussing: so things are looking up. :laughing:
 
Don't sell yourself short. It's not as hard as you think it is. You only need a high school degree, and there's a variety of courses to choose from. For example, A-Beka from Pensacola Christian College offers video classroom assistance. There are always teachers to assist with any questions you have. Their teachers also review and grade all the work that you must put together in a portfolio for them.
 
I'll tell you what works for me. As soon as my kids get home from school I go through the back pack while they get a snack. Then they HAVE TO do their homework before anything else. I have never had a big problem with them and school work.

Also, is it possible that your daughter, please don't be offended, may have a learning disability such as dyslexia. The behavior seems to be typical of something of that nature. Good luck!
 
jerzee64 said:
I'll tell you what works for me. As soon as my kids get home from school I go through the back pack while they get a snack. Then they HAVE TO do their homework before anything else. I have never had a big problem with them and school work.

Also, is it possible that your daughter, please don't be offended, may have a learning disability such as dyslexia. The behavior seems to be typical of something of that nature. Good luck!
Click to expand...

Im not offended. :) I dont think her problem is anything like that. She does have vision issues and I think that is a big part of it. She likes to think she can see better than what she can and doesnt want to admit when she cant see something. Thanks to a wonderful member here.( swannyj ) who gave me some great advice and links Im going to get her the help she needs. Thanks for replying. I love to hear what other members think and how they do things. It really, really helps.
 
This will be my first post, but I felt the need to reply. I went through the exact same thing when my 15 yr. old was 11. I took away her music etc. Well, I should have realized that when she started acting that way there was something more serious going on. I promise you, it is probably not just laziness. You need to find the root of the problem, especially with the physical complaints. With my 11yr. old it ended up being depression and then of course I felt guilty for not recognizing it. Again, you need to find the root of the problem and not just chalk it up to her age (which it may be). But, I say better safe than sorry though. Who are her friends? What are they involved in? etc. If you have insurance it doesn't hurt to have her talk to a counselor.
 
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