Here is Part 2 of the "Tale of Oz" (See part 1 on page 8)
(If you read on to the end you will find something interesting....)
Day 4: (Monday, 9/10) (Dive day one) 6:00 AM: Woke up with a hang-over. :tongue2: Judy is still snoring. Blimey, there's no 'rugger' on at 6am! Guess my only option left is to go out on the veranda and have a 60 cent cigarette and a wee nip of the "hair of the dog" that bit my Yank arse the night before! It is a balmy 75 degrees out, the morning sun is bright, the air is clear, and the little black and white birds they call 'mynas' are filling the air with masterful vocal imitations of the mating call of the red-yellow-green breasted crosswalk signal! BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. Ah, such a sweet melody to soothe the savage human breast!
8:00 am. I wake Judy up. (16 hrs is enough for any female!!!!! Human or otherwise!) "Breaky" awaits us in the hotel lobby! I get re-introduced to the "joys" of Mueslix and Vegemite! To those who are uninitiated: Mueslix is like granola (only worse) and Vegemite is this horrible yeast concoction that starts out life being scraped off the bottoms of Ale Brewery tuns. URP! Beer sludge! It is truly awful! I satistfied myself with a bowl good ol' American Corn Flakes, fresh fruit, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Ahh, I am freshly prepared to meet the rigors of life in the great 'down-under' of Australia! Various errands have to be taken care of before we head to the boat, so, off I go again. Flapping in my thongs through the quaint streets and byways of Cairns, I purchase extra contact lenses (in case a guppy eats mine while snorkeling), look in the shops for tourist junk to bring back to unsuspecting friends, and basically while away my last few hours on dry land before we head out to the 'briny deep'.
11:30 am. The shuttle bus from the boat stops at the hotel to take us to the wharf before embarking on our grand adventure. It is just a short ways and soon we find ourselves being loaded onto the boat. It looks sound, ship shape, and sea-worthy enough. Just like the pictures! Amazing! But, just to be sure I've smuggled 2 bottles of that demon Rum onboard. For medicinal purposes only, of course! Captain Blye would not have such nonsense otherwise! Cigarette smoking is allowed on the aft of the upper deck, so that good!
Pretty soon there are 24 of us milling around on the upper deck all looking like little lost sheep. But, we were in good hands. They gave a little intro talk, passed out name tags, gave us our own personal water bottles, we introduced ourselves, they showed us our cabins, and then the skipper put 'er in overdrive and we headed out to the first dive area! Of course, lunch was the first item on the agenda. And, as all know, the first meal is meant to be the best. It was a first-class buffet! Prawns and fancy coldcuts, fresh fruits of the tropics! YUM, YUM. After lunch is over we all head down to the cabins to unpack (I get stuck with the top berth) and then out onto the dive deck to sort out or receive our dive gear. We all looked like an ood-shaped collection of seals.
Fifteen out of the 24 were "dyed-in-the-wool" crazy folks that just spend their entire lives going from one dive trip to another. Fifty percent of the people were over 60 years old. (Now that surprised me.) Twenty were diving (60 % of them brought their own gear), four of us were going to be snorkelers. Ten percent were from Australia. Fifty percent were from Europe. Ten percent from South America. Thirty percent from the United States. So much for the demographics. Quite a diverse group onboard.
4:00 pm. Arrived at our first dive spot. Norman Hole. 16* 26' 00" S 146* 00' 00" E. This was a small reef approximately 60 nautical miles NNE of Cairns (35 miles offshore). Since this was so close to Cairns, the reef was pretty well beat up by patrons of the "day-boats" which run out of Cairns for 10-12 hr trips. This was where all of us did our 'orientation dives', which basically means the crew gets to see if we were going to 'sink or swim'. (I'm sure there is some betting going on among the crew!) Flurry of activity there on the dive deck. All the dives "maniacs" have to be held back from jumping into the water before the boat comes to a stop! So ... we all jumped in ... we all got wet and none of us drowned. Goody! Like I said, the reef there was pretty much ruined so we didn't see many fish and the coral was mostly dead. .
We all had to wear full wetsuits, despite the bath temp water, to protect us from the sharp coral and also from the "stingers". Stingers??? HUH???? Killer jellyfish. SERIOUS! They have these jellyfish in the inner coastal waters that will kill you deader than a cold mackerel with just one touch. The infamous Great White shark plays a distant second fiddle to those little gooey blobs of protoplasm! So, as they say, "Better wetsuit than lawsuit".
As far as my first snorkel went .... they had me squeezed in a wetsuit that was about 2 sizes too small, took me out in the zodiac, and dumped me (literally) off in 30m (100ft) of water! I had only snorkeled off the beach previously! Six meters had been my maximum depth before!
And I'm no fish! Well, let me tell you: that thar' bottom was a long, long, long, long way down! AND the nearest beach was 35 miles away! BLUB, BLUB! It freaked me out a bit. But, with greenhorns, like snorkelers, they always send a crew member out with them. So, that was good. Ours was a gal named Tanya who was the Hostess on the boat. (that's a fancy name for the maid)
Out of the water, back into the zodiac, and finally onto big 'dry' boat. Safe and sound. But, really, I did snorkel for about an hour there. I had trouble with the mask, the snorkel, the suit, and swallowed enough salt water to be permenantly preserved without refrigeration. Yet, despite the problems, I enjoyed myself. Most dives range from 1.00 to 1.25 hours, then it's time to get out and prepare for the next meal!
6:30 pm. Another yummy meal was waiting. I forget what it was but sure enough the evening meal was just great. Of course with every dinner there is fine Australian wine provided for free! Can't pass that up. The rest of the evening was reserved for getting to know one's fellow passengers ....
... AND for a snort or so of grog off one of them 2 bottles of rum I brought aboard! :cheers: They have a full bar available ... at an outrageous price of course!
We head North toward Ribbon Reef #10 at about 9:00 that night. It will take about 8-10 hours to get there. Aaargh Matey! Hoist the Mainsa'l and the Mizzen sails and let's head her, by tack, against the equatorials into the Northern waters that lay between the safe havens of that barren land of Australia and the unknown shores and bizarre cannibals that lay on the southern coast of that unexplored land named as New Guinea! Anchors Away! Look lively mates! Extra grog for them that prove worthy!
:cheers:
Coral Tree Inn
Tusa Dive
Spirit of Freedom
Great Barrier Reef
Day 5 (Tuesday, 9/11) (Dive Day 2) 6:30 am. Wake to the cry of "Wakey, wakey! Breaky, breaky, then dive time!" What the hell is that all about?? "Leave me alone! I have a hang-over!" :tongue2: The "first" "breaky" of the day is ready and will not be refused! First breakfast is a continental type ... yep ... Mueslix AND granola!! I settle for Corn Flakes, orange juice, and hot coffee!
It is time to describe to you a typical dive day: 6:30 am rise and shine! 7:15 am 1st dive. 9:00 am 2nd "breaky". 10:30 am 2nd dive. 12:30 pm Lunch. 1:30 pm 3rd dive. 4:00 pm 4th dive. 6:00 pm Dinner time! 7:30 pm Night dive, if scheduled! Before every scheduled event they run through the boat yelling"Wakey, Wakey", "Breaky, Breaky!" or "Dive time!" or someother such obnoxious thing.
So, we are at the first dive of the day. The "Cod Hole". This is on the very north end of Ribbon Reef #10 14*40'00" S 145*39'30" E. Here they have these great big groupers! 1m+ in size. Everyone dives in the water in hopes of seeing the big fishies! That is, everyone but me. The swell is really large since we are on the very end of the reef where the site is exposed to the open ocean and I just don't feel like drowning quite yet. Besides, its toooo early for "normal" people to even be functioning.
Second "breaky" is now being served. This is the hot breakfast! Sausages, bacon (ham), scrambled eggs, toast, and other goodies. Of course you have your weird stuff to go along with it: "Chef boy-r-dee" type spaghetti, baked beans, and of course Vegemite! It appears that the favorite Australian "breaky" is 2 pieces of toast piled high with scrambled eggs which is then topped with a heathly helping of baked beans and a nice side of spaghetti! Go figure??
Second dive of the day. This time they are going to feed the Potato Cod (I think it's leftovers from the kitchen) to attract them to the divers. From the pictures I saw it was really great. Hundreds of these critters came for second breaky! They must like baked beans!
The staff is worried about me not going in but I explain to them that I am not obsessed (like the divers) with getting in the water. Besides, the whole trip is designed to cater toward the divers and it doesn't matter to them if there is a 1m swell. (But it does to a snorkeler!)
With everybody back on board, they head the boat toward the next dive site. This time we are headed back south. Lunch is served and consists of Pumpkin (squash) soup .... hmmm .... I think that I will skip it next time it shows up.
Third dive of the day is on a place called Twin Towers. Which is basically the tip of a small coral "mountain" that ends before the surface. It is too deep to snorkel on so I end up hanging out on the sun deck again. The tan is getting better! It's 85 in the shade with clear skies and a light breeze, so I'm not suffering in the least. Once everyone is back on the boat they head just a little more south to the next site. They promise me that I will be able to snorkel there. As far as I was concerned it was rum-thirty but they won't let you in the water if you have a nip or two, so I just have to wait. Darn.
Fourth dive of the day is at the very end of Ribbon Reef #10 and is called Challenger Bay 14*55'00" S 145*42'00" E. Now! This looks great! It is on the lee side of reef so the surface is pretty calm. Time to get wet! So ... splish splash ... in I go! And immediately I start swallowing immense quantities of salt water. Something is wrong with this darn snorkel. If this keeps up I REALLY WILL drown! Judy is along and she seems to be doing just fine. Fink! I had gotten a larger suit and figured out that the mask wasn't sealing because it wasn't tight enough, so those weren't problems anymore. After 10 minutes in the water I was getting a little twitchy about the snorkel thing. Finally Tanya let me use her snorkel and mask and suddenly everything was just great! Now I was enjoying myself. Now I could take the time to look at the fishies, and there were oodles of them! Judy pooped out and the zodiac came and got her, but there was no way I was getting out. I was having too much fun. Of course, Loren forgot his camera on the dry-rack of the dive deck, so guess who didn't get any pictures? But you can't have everything. (a brain would help though) Finally Tanya said we had to go back to the boat, like it or not. Bummer. I was getting tired anyways. But ya gotta look on the bright side: the rum was back on the boat!
Dried off, with a tall Rum and Water at the ready, it was time for dinner. Whatever he was cooking up smelled great! As it turned out it was lasagna. The best I've ever had. I had thirds! (or was it fourths???) No wine yet, though.
Tonight they had a night dive. Mere snorkelers aren't allowed to go out after dark, but that was fine with me. What kind of nutcase wants to jump into the ocean, 50 miles offshore, in the pitch black?? Apparently there were 16 such wackos onboard. Yet I was content to watch them paddle off into the inky blackness with just a little flashlight to guide them. Crazy!
Time for the wine and socialization! :cheers: Starting to get to know a few folks so I spent the next hour or so smoozing with my fellow passengers. About 9:00pm that starts to get boring and folks start heading to bed. These divers are real wimps, no staying power. To bed at 9??? We are not going anywhere tonight so everyone should get a good night's sleep. Yet I'm not ready to hit the bunk quite yet. I must have owl blood in me. So I head down to the cabin to refresh my rum and got to thinking that the darn glass was just too small. And indeed it was! There, right before me, was the solution. The sports water bottle they had given us. Eureka! Armed for bear I head up to the sun deck for a cigarette or two.
Well, well, well. Up there are the 2 "boys from Brazil"(lucia and Vittorio), the Italian (Luca), and one of the Americans drinking wine :cheers: and talking soccer! That should be interesting ... Italians and Brazilians having a lively debate about soccer ... with wine as a chaser. I couldn't care less about soccer but I settle in to be amused for a while and wait to see who gets killed first! My larger rum & water lasted through the first round. Two more bottles of wine have met an untimely end with the soccer fans. Time for a refill for me, so I trot below decks to refresh. By the time I get back, another bottle of wine has disappeared. Soccer is still the topic but it's running out of steam and gradually the topic turns to discussion of women of "low repute". What can I say? Italians and Brazilians. Well, bad goes to worse and about 6 more bottles of wine get sacrificed to the cause. By this time Luca's wife has showed up and they have got her and me drinking wine too!
Finally about 12:30am one of the crew members comes and says the party should probably come to an end. (They are afraid one of us is gonna fall overboard) It is a moot point though. Every bottle of wine in the bar is gone. Bummer Must be bedtime.
:cheers:
Potato Cods
More Cod Facts
Now for the good part. I think I'm going to do a mini sweep here. Those of you that think you can identify me from one of the pictures (see post above or
Oz Pictures ) send me a PM with your name and guess. In 2 weeks I will pull a winner from the correct guessers and that lucky person will get a little surprise pack of Australian goodies! Koala Bear keychain, some Aussie cash, and whatever else I can dig up. Not worth much, but it should be fun anyways! Just a hint: look at the group photos ... those are the only ones I'm in.
:thewave:
opcorn:
